








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 552 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1051 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,202 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 940 | 29% |
| Smokes | 912 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 740 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 610 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $296,806 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1ar | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Meistr | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Missalot | 64% | 22 |
| #4 | Ping pong show | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | Rabbagazza | 56% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | MacDaddy | 53% | 17 |
| #9 | Nazgûl | 50% | 4 |
| #10 | pi3 | 50% | 12 |
| #11 | Greedybastard | 43% | 7 |
| #12 | butterfly | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rabbagazza | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Missalot | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Meistr | 1 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Greedybastard | 1 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Missalot | 76 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | Rabbagazza | 64 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | pi3 | 60 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | me1str | 58 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | MacDaddy | 44 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | < blank > | +2.40 | 61 | 67 |
| #2 | pi3 | +1.97 | 57 | 70 |
| #3 | Missalot | +1.92 | 86 | 77 |
| #4 | Meistr | +1.66 | 71 | 66 |
| #5 | Nazgûl | +1.27 | 61 | 54 |





