








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
191 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 598 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 182 | 30% |
| Smokes | 135 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 135 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 146 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $35,840 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P I S S | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Skinny Jeans Bulge | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | Waisty2g | 100% | 3 |
| #4 | TONIGHT, I know I'm HandsomE | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | shitmypantsmaxing | 62% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Jye | 50% | 2 |
| #7 | wifimonking | 40% | 5 |
| #8 | catcatcat | 38% | 8 |
| #9 | mlg montage | 33% | 3 |
| #10 | honk | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shitmypantsmaxing | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | catcatcat | 19 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #2 | shitmypantsmaxing | 18 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #3 | wifimonking | 7 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | honk | 6 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Jye | 3 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TONIGHT, I know I'm HandsomE | +3.38 | 93 | 28 |
| #2 | shitmypantsmaxing | +2.12 | 73 | 31 |
| #3 | wifimonking | +1.62 | 72 | 34 |
| #4 | Skinny Jeans Bulge | +1.50 | 52 | 46 |
| #5 | Waisty2g | +1.13 | 72 | 26 |





