








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1645 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,328 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1746 | 40% |
| Smokes | 984 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 855 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 743 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $338,912 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dolzy | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | Raz | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | CONVICT | 54% | 113 |
| #4 | WanderingWithJ | 54% | 56 |
| #5 | brake | 52% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CONVICT | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | brake | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | strAtus | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | WanderingWithJ | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | onion man | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | onion man | 426 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #2 | strAtus | 347 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | CONVICT | 318 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | brake | 254 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | WanderingWithJ | 104 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dolzy | +4.17 | 91 | 68 |
| #2 | CONVICT | +3.23 | 83 | 58 |
| #3 | WanderingWithJ | +2.36 | 88 | 55 |
| #4 | strAtus | +1.62 | 75 | 64 |
| #5 | Grampz | -0.80 | 76 | 63 |





