








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1630 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,301 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2563 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1841 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2774 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2123 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $261,215 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ConAction#Ping4Life <3 | 57% | 67 |
| #2 | fICHTAR | 53% | 81 |
| #3 | felixG | 50% | 159 |
| #4 | hakken\ | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | ahrens | 48% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ahrens | 48% | 156 |
| #6 | BROCONUT | 48% | 48 |
| #7 | skunkner | 46% | 113 |
| #8 | jns | 40% | 78 |
| #9 | BOT dehrens | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skunkner | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | felixG | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | ConAction#Ping4Life <3 | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | jns | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | BROCONUT | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ahrens | 651 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | ConAction#Ping4Life <3 | 133 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | fICHTAR | 127 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | skunkner | 123 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | felixG | 122 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ConAction#Ping4Life <3 | +3.71 | 68 | 57 |
| #2 | hakken\ | +2.36 | 77 | 80 |
| #3 | fICHTAR | +0.83 | 64 | 55 |
| #4 | skunkner | +0.74 | 70 | 62 |
| #5 | felixG | -0.20 | 57 | 50 |





