








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 422 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 211 matches | ||
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2545 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,508 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4621 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5142 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4521 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4224 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $374,179 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nacho | 68% | 40 |
| #2 | LeftTap | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | k0Rn | 63% | 112 |
| #4 | becx. | 61% | 33 |
| #5 | SilentF666[IGL From HELL] | 60% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ashton Clutcher | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | C-man395 セドリック | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | k0Rn | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | becx. | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ashton Clutcher | 295 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #2 | k0Rn | 250 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | SilentF666[IGL From HELL] | 155 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | Nacho | 134 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | C-man395 セドリック | 100 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0Rn | +3.70 | 86 | 61 |
| #2 | LeftTap | +3.23 | 76 | 73 |
| #3 | Nacho | +1.86 | 75 | 59 |
| #4 | becx. | +1.78 | 74 | 48 |
| #5 | Ashton Clutcher | +1.13 | 46 | 73 |





