










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 325 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1148 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,683 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 880 | 33% |
| Smokes | 854 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 535 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 414 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $554,468 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Botoxin | 48% | 46 |
| #10 | lynx | 47% | 60 |
| #11 | flakø. | 43% | 14 |
| #12 | Dilla | 41% | 29 |
| #13 | I3luefire | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clutchy Hopkins | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | lynx | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Botoxin | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | mättsen | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | I3luefire | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clutchy Hopkins | 400 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | lynx | 245 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Botoxin | 130 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | cuddy | 90 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dilla | 85 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scheims Bond | +3.35 | 77 | 68 |
| #2 | KpN | +3.26 | 89 | 74 |
| #3 | mättsen | +1.07 | 66 | 64 |
| #4 | Clutchy Hopkins | +0.93 | 44 | 77 |
| #5 | Dilla | +0.86 | 73 | 67 |





