










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
923 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,516 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1233 | 35% |
| Smokes | 594 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 985 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 704 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $562,891 of utility $261 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 297 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vanilla curd lover | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | megumin kato(wice) | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | KapteeniRetuPekka | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | Jore | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | NiggaBoy | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jore | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | NiggaBoy | 50% | 18 |
| #6 | Ellu | 49% | 37 |
| #7 | bismarck | 44% | 9 |
| #8 | Z4nks | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KapteeniRetuPekka | 13 | 0.0210 |
| #2 | Jore | 13 | 0.0313 |
| #3 | NiggaBoy | 6 | 0.0165 |
| #4 | vanilla curd lover | 4 | 0.0206 |
| #5 | Ellu | 3 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jore | 92 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #2 | Ellu | 82 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | KapteeniRetuPekka | 59 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | vanilla curd lover | 41 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | NiggaBoy | 25 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bismarck | +9.19 | 61 | 71 |
| #2 | Wiltsu606 | +1.81 | 62 | 71 |
| #3 | Jore | +1.31 | 53 | 42 |
| #4 | megumin kato(wice) | +0.85 | 59 | 66 |
| #5 | Z4nks | +0.82 | 74 | 35 |





