








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
350 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 719 | 28% |
| Smokes | 704 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 629 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 478 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $187,996 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 338 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ADR skweefe | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Big Nate | 63% | 48 |
| #3 | ADR Squirty | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Fuzz | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | ADR unk | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ADR skweefe | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Big Nate | 63% | 48 |
| #3 | ADR Squirty | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Fuzz | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | ADR unk | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuzz | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Big Nate | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | ADR skweefe | 1 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | ADR unk | 1 | 0.0175 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuzz | 119 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | ADR skweefe | 27 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | Big Nate | 17 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | ADR unk | 12 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| #5 | ADR Squirty | 11 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ADR skweefe | +1.97 | 54 | 56 |
| #2 | Roberto Obrero | +1.10 | 37 | 67 |
| #3 | Big Nate | +0.69 | 89 | 38 |
| #4 | Fuzz | -0.58 | 60 | 65 |
| #5 | ADR unk | -1.07 | 76 | 60 |





