








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2836 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,556 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2501 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2772 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2790 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1493 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $868,169 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 283 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fabio | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | ADR unk | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | ADR Milk Shake | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | Roberto Obrero | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | Big Nate | 49% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ADR Milk Shake | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | Roberto Obrero | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | Big Nate | 49% | 160 |
| #6 | ADR skweefe | 48% | 61 |
| #7 | Bob the Builder | 47% | 265 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob the Builder | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Big Nate | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | ADR skweefe | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | ADR unk | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Roberto Obrero | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob the Builder | 588 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #2 | ADR skweefe | 272 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #3 | ADR unk | 198 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #4 | ADR Milk Shake | 116 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Roberto Obrero | 108 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ADR unk | +3.10 | 78 | 70 |
| #2 | fabio | +2.38 | 69 | 70 |
| #3 | Roberto Obrero | +1.14 | 36 | 67 |
| #4 | ADR skweefe | +0.71 | 60 | 70 |
| #5 | ADR Milk Shake | +0.61 | 60 | 64 |





