








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 72 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 268 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1853 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,931 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2347 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1764 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2632 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2188 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $926,664 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fabio | 74% | 23 |
| #2 | Bob the Builder | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | ADR unk | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fabio | 74% | 23 |
| #2 | Bob the Builder | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | ADR unk | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ADR unk | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fabio | 102 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | ADR unk | 93 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #3 | Bob the Builder | 63 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fabio | +5.97 | 79 | 80 |
| #2 | ADR unk | +3.48 | 74 | 68 |
| #3 | Bob the Builder | +1.39 | 37 | 63 |
| #4 | ADR Squirty | -2.84 | 32 | 59 |





