








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1579 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,324 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 538 | 23% |
| Smokes | 469 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1247 | 54% |
| Molotovs | 70 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $639,175 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roberto Obrero | 63% | 48 |
| #2 | Fuzz | 49% | 160 |
| #3 | Bob the Builder | 42% | 145 |
| #4 | Wohn Jick | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roberto Obrero | 63% | 48 |
| #2 | Fuzz | 49% | 160 |
| #3 | Bob the Builder | 42% | 145 |
| #4 | Wohn Jick | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuzz | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Bob the Builder | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Roberto Obrero | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Wohn Jick | 3 | 0.0115 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob the Builder | 398 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Fuzz | 384 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | Roberto Obrero | 139 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Wohn Jick | 53 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wohn Jick | +5.64 | 70 | 66 |
| #2 | Roberto Obrero | +0.39 | 40 | 66 |
| #3 | Big Nate | -0.09 | 83 | 37 |
| #4 | Bob the Builder | -0.29 | 32 | 68 |
| #5 | Fuzz | -0.79 | 60 | 57 |





