








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 610 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 373 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2760 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,831 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4458 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3233 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3836 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4304 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $491,937 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1271 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L@MM | 68% | 31 |
| 60% | 80 | ||
| #3 | Pöls@ | 50% | 214 |
| #4 | BjÖrK | 43% | 194 |
| 42% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| 33 | 0.0207 | ||
| #2 | BjÖrK | 21 | 0.0053 |
| 13 | 0.0064 | ||
| #4 | Pöls@ | 9 | 0.0021 |
| 4 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pöls@ | 398 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | L@MM | 124 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| 62 | 0.03 | 1 min | ||
| 60 | 0.08 | 1 min | ||
| 38 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L@MM | +10.92 | 64 | 60 |
| +6.80 | 54 | 27 | ||
| #3 | Pöls@ | +4.56 | 40 | 55 |
| #4 | Ovuvuevuevue | -0.39 | 36 | 32 |
| #5 | BjÖrK | -0.86 | 77 | 20 |





