








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 249 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1291 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,843 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 671 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1096 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 410 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 666 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $368,036 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nurolinker | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Little_Wanng | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | Leg_end404 | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | will | 67% | 12 |
| #5 | hibish | 60% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | will | 67% | 12 |
| #5 | hibish | 60% | 48 |
| #6 | jason9eu | 56% | 18 |
| #7 | Shr1mple(sombody si ma) | 56% | 18 |
| #8 | 她说免费都轮不到我 | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hibish | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Shr1mple(sombody si ma) | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Little_Wanng | 2 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | Leg_end404 | 2 | 0.0139 |
| #5 | jason9eu | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shr1mple(sombody si ma) | 33 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | Little_Wanng | 31 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | jason9eu | 26 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | will | 25 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | 她说免费都轮不到我 | 24 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 神眷之樱花 | +4.69 | 82 | 48 |
| #2 | will | +2.96 | 79 | 43 |
| #3 | jason9eu | +1.83 | 73 | 43 |
| #4 | Little_Wanng | +1.02 | 43 | 61 |
| #5 | Nurolinker | -0.79 | 33 | 59 |





