








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 364 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 284 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3892 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,894 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2658 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3549 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1653 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3034 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,550,156 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 715 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wispy | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | oneTap | 67% | 36 |
| #3 | Capturelight Abe | 56% | 94 |
| #4 | tzuyu | 51% | 59 |
| #5 | Xion | 49% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Lichmade | 47% | 112 |
| #9 | Ulero_G | 47% | 96 |
| #10 | Bocchi the Abe the 2nd | 42% | 19 |
| #11 | _Dav1d_ | 40% | 20 |
| #12 | Mr.Thug! FRee PALISTIIINA CS.PRO | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ulero_G | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Lichmade | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Xion | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Jon | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Hentai Kamen | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lichmade | 304 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | tzuyu | 199 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jon | 181 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Hentai Kamen | 152 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Capturelight Abe | 143 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ProPlayerArbi | +2.94 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | oneTap | +2.22 | 64 | 67 |
| #3 | Ulero_G | +1.83 | 79 | 36 |
| #4 | Xion | +0.71 | 55 | 50 |
| #5 | tzuyu | +0.22 | 67 | 62 |





