








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1690 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 182 matches | ||
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




111 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6479 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,342 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2815 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2841 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 517 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 2169 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,661,182 of utility $266 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4028 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emo∿ | 67% | 63 |
| #2 | PANDA | 65% | 46 |
| #3 | Jrolles | 60% | 159 |
| #4 | VioletSkyy | 57% | 198 |
| #5 | Pankof | 57% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pankof | 24 | 0.0242 |
| #2 | VioletSkyy | 23 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Jrolles | 23 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | Sara Lynn's Pills | 22 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Bell | 9 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emo∿ | +7.45 | 84 | 60 |
| #2 | Bell | +4.89 | 25 | 34 |
| #3 | Jrolles | +2.89 | 61 | 27 |
| #4 | VioletSkyy | +1.37 | 37 | 23 |
| #5 | fart | +0.16 | 48 | 29 |





