








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1905 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 292 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 228 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 166 matches | ||
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Wingman | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




113 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7690 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,900 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1028 | 9% |
| Smokes | 3922 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1952 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3998 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,254,022 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10066 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emo∿ | 72% | 174 |
| #2 | Athena | 57% | 98 |
| #3 | fart | 57% | 198 |
| #4 | Fifer! | 57% | 74 |
| #5 | Bell | 56% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bell | 23 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | fart | 22 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Athena | 21 | 0.0105 |
| #4 | Sara Lynn's Pills | 15 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Emo∿ | 15 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emo∿ | +7.09 | 81 | 56 |
| #2 | Emotilda | +5.87 | 84 | 50 |
| #3 | Athena | +4.94 | 59 | 51 |
| #4 | Bell | +2.55 | 28 | 40 |
| #5 | VioletSkyy | +0.57 | 36 | 22 |





