








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 350 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5441 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,956 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6173 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5386 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 7169 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5228 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,869,430 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2276 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | BEAST | 58% | 43 |
| #7 | LeckaBierchen97 | 55% | 53 |
| #8 | fabigissi97 | 53% | 210 |
| #9 | Marcelinoblau | 50% | 114 |
| #10 | mayh | 47% | 60 |





