








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 927 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 695 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 194 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 234 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8677 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 45,930 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7525 | 16% |
| Smokes | 14385 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 13458 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 10562 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,028,719 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 986 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -seijin | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | mayh | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Kerwe | pK | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Strone | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | fabigissi97 | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mayh | 796 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #2 | Strone | 327 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | -seijin | 293 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | antiGE | 284 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #5 | Kerwe | pK | 238 | 0.19 | 6 min |





