








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 531 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Wingman | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7319 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,344 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5024 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5062 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5465 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5793 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,880,632 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doOb1e | 65% | 37 |
| #2 | -seijin | 61% | 162 |
| #3 | archie | 59% | 41 |
| #4 | Marcelinoblau | 58% | 138 |
| #5 | fabigissi97 | 58% | 392 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | -seijin | 61% | 162 |
| #3 | archie | 59% | 41 |
| #4 | Marcelinoblau | 58% | 138 |
| #5 | fabigissi97 | 58% | 392 |
| #6 | mayh | 50% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fabigissi97 | 10 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Marcelinoblau | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | -seijin | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | mayh | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | doOb1e | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mayh | 432 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | -seijin | 414 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Marcelinoblau | 269 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | fabigissi97 | 266 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | archie | 118 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strone | +3.70 | 77 | 64 |
| #2 | mayh | +0.82 | 67 | 55 |
| #3 | Marcelinoblau | +0.09 | 56 | 62 |
| #4 | -seijin | +0.04 | 81 | 56 |
| #5 | archie | -0.06 | 74 | 64 |





