








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 705 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2783 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,346 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4643 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5598 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3389 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3716 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,155,294 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marcelinoblau | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Strone | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | fabigissi97 | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | doOb1e | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | -seijin | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marcelinoblau | 391 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Strone | 339 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | -seijin | 167 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | antiGE | 139 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | fabigissi97 | 90 | 0.05 | 2 min |





