








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 557 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1352 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,312 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1638 | 31% |
| Smokes | 862 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1793 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1019 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $556,868 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 563 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plutoimmortal | 105 | 0.0320 |
| #2 | no | 42 | 0.0411 |
| #3 | Tømiq | 31 | 0.0204 |
| #4 | rrxevz | 27 | 0.0314 |
| #5 | kurgimees toivo | 21 | 0.0335 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plutoimmortal | 336 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | rrxevz | 208 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #3 | kurgimees toivo | 178 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #4 | SuperStalin67 | 118 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #5 | no | 90 | 0.09 | 1 min |





