










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 316 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1051 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 581 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 133 | 23% |
| Smokes | 123 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 157 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 168 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $173,470 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plutoimmortal | 77 | 0.0349 |
| #2 | Vexy | 37 | 0.0251 |
| #3 | no | 23 | 0.0401 |
| #4 | kurgimees toivo | 23 | 0.0571 |
| #5 | rrxevz | 11 | 0.0509 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plutoimmortal | 256 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Vexy | 209 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | kurgimees toivo | 175 | 0.43 | 2 min |
| #4 | SuperStalin67 | 69 | 0.35 | 0 min |
| #5 | rrxevz | 64 | 0.30 | 1 min |





