








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 284 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 242 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1958 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,430 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1592 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3356 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2918 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2564 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $914,144 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 397 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | KimboSlice | 52% | 67 |
| #8 | Markus Delrow | 49% | 79 |
| #9 | Cpt Bubatz | 42% | 19 |
| #10 | King T | 40% | 30 |
| #11 | Traplover | 39% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obst | 18 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Lukas | 16 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Markus Delrow | 14 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | KimboSlice | 11 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | Alexander | 6 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obst | 319 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #2 | Lukas | 244 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | Markus Delrow | 139 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Alexander | 72 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | KimboSlice | 64 | 0.05 | 1 min |





