








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 930 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 67 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




93 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2806 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,994 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1972 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1536 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1732 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1754 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $990,818 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3575 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d1Ldo | 36 | 0.0291 |
| #2 | röökiluukku | 33 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | Themeza01 | 19 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | korvasieni | 17 | 0.0356 |
| #5 | kethu | 11 | 0.0142 |





