








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 3 different maps



Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
315 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 931 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 21 | 2% |
| Smokes | 552 | 59% |
| HE Grenades | 130 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 228 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $38,122 of utility $37 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r3albanned | 42% | 12 |
| #2 | CHURAQ SPUTNIK | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | 🔪𝓷0𝔁𝔂𝔃🔪 | 38% | 8 |
| #4 | JupikSKratakem | 33% | 9 |
| #5 | CS.Pro Dargonis8 | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | CHURAQ SPUTNIK | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | 🔪𝓷0𝔁𝔂𝔃🔪 | 38% | 8 |
| #4 | JupikSKratakem | 33% | 9 |
| #5 | CS.Pro Dargonis8 | 25% | 12 |
| #6 | VAJICLOCHLP | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r3albanned | 6 | 0.0288 |
| #2 | CS.Pro Dargonis8 | 5 | 0.0218 |
| #3 | JupikSKratakem | 5 | 0.0313 |
| #4 | 🔪𝓷0𝔁𝔂𝔃🔪 | 5 | 0.0413 |
| #5 | VAJICLOCHLP | 1 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHURAQ SPUTNIK | 24 | 0.29 | 0 min |
| #2 | r3albanned | 23 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | JupikSKratakem | 12 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | CS.Pro Dargonis8 | 9 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | 🔪𝓷0𝔁𝔂𝔃🔪 | 5 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🔪𝓷0𝔁𝔂𝔃🔪 | +7.56 | 76 | 14 |
| #2 | r3albanned | +3.50 | 56 | 37 |
| #3 | CS.Pro Dargonis8 | +0.86 | 61 | 19 |
| #4 | VAJICLOCHLP | +0.78 | 24 | 52 |
| #5 | JupikSKratakem | +0.27 | 31 | 21 |





