








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
342 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 285 | 29% |
| Smokes | 351 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 185 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 154 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $105,856 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | slyxz | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | CHURAQ SPUTNIK | 41% | 17 |
| #6 | VAJICLOCHLP | 36% | 14 |
| #7 | M̴a̴t̴y̴ | 33% | 6 |
| #8 | CS.Pro Dargonis8 | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JupikSKratakem | 5 | 0.0220 |
| #2 | 🔪𝓷0𝔁𝔂𝔃🔪 | 4 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | slyxz | 3 | 0.0138 |
| #4 | CHURAQ SPUTNIK | 2 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | VAJICLOCHLP | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHURAQ SPUTNIK | 64 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #2 | JupikSKratakem | 30 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | 🔪𝓷0𝔁𝔂𝔃🔪 | 25 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | VAJICLOCHLP | 8 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | CS.Pro Dargonis8 | 3 | 0.03 | 0 min |





