








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
984 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,207 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 404 | 33% |
| Smokes | 289 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 334 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 180 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $215,585 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jompsa | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | peeku | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | varrIIor | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Toe | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | Tume | 48% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | SaMpSaツ | 44% | 16 |
| #8 | JL | 40% | 20 |
| #9 | seblundin | 33% | 6 |
| #10 | Bublixx | 29% | 14 |
| #11 | AleksikOooOo | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tume | 6 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Bublixx | 6 | 0.0245 |
| #3 | Tapsaツ | 5 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | JL | 4 | 0.0106 |
| #5 | Toe | 3 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tume | 134 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | Tapsaツ | 64 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | JL | 57 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Toe | 53 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bublixx | 46 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jompsa | +2.92 | 74 | 58 |
| #2 | jonzka | +2.75 | 84 | 50 |
| #3 | JL | +1.32 | 90 | 60 |
| #4 | SaMpSaツ | +0.67 | 84 | 63 |
| #5 | varrIIor | +0.54 | 59 | 65 |





