








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 870 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 300 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4477 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,034 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5303 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4399 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4140 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3192 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,611,477 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1406 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hojo | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | Jompsa | 55% | 75 |
| #3 | JL | 52% | 242 |
| #4 | SaMpSaツ | 52% | 225 |
| #5 | jonzka | 52% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | peeku | 52% | 95 |
| #7 | Tapsaツ | 50% | 241 |
| #8 | Toe | 49% | 47 |
| #9 | jonzka | 48% | 44 |
| #10 | Bublixx | 47% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jonzka | 19 | 0.0223 |
| #2 | SaMpSaツ | 14 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | JL | 13 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Tapsaツ | 13 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Bublixx | 10 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JL | 883 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #2 | SaMpSaツ | 675 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #3 | Tapsaツ | 479 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | Bublixx | 204 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jompsa | 133 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JL | +2.82 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | SaMpSaツ | +2.52 | 86 | 63 |
| #3 | jonzka | +1.82 | 84 | 45 |
| #4 | Jompsa | +1.66 | 83 | 62 |
| #5 | jonzka | +0.47 | 78 | 51 |





