








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
956 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,682 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1046 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1068 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 739 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 829 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $274,325 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peeku | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Tapsaツ | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | SaMpSaツ | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | jonzka | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | JL | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bublixx | 6 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | jonzka | 6 | 0.0180 |
| #3 | Tume | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | JL | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | Tapsaツ | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tume | 129 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Bublixx | 97 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | Bat | 89 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | JL | 75 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | SaMpSaツ | 47 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SaMpSaツ | +3.77 | 88 | 69 |
| #2 | JL | +2.78 | 85 | 63 |
| #3 | jonzka | +1.78 | 81 | 37 |
| #4 | jonzka | +0.52 | 84 | 42 |
| #5 | Wojac | +0.39 | 30 | 54 |





