








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 729 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 362 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4998 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,000 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4784 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4740 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5194 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5282 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,570,751 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jompsa | 58% | 64 |
| #2 | jonzka | 53% | 75 |
| #3 | SaMpSaツ | 53% | 188 |
| #4 | JL | 51% | 155 |
| #5 | Tume | 50% | 241 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | JL | 51% | 155 |
| #5 | Tume | 50% | 241 |
| #6 | peeku | 49% | 104 |
| #7 | jonzka | 44% | 41 |
| #8 | Bublixx | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tume | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | jonzka | 12 | 0.0159 |
| #3 | SaMpSaツ | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | JL | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | peeku | 7 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tume | 656 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #2 | SaMpSaツ | 506 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | JL | 471 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #4 | jonzka | 123 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | jonzka | 94 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jompsa | +2.61 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | SaMpSaツ | +2.27 | 86 | 63 |
| #3 | JL | +2.15 | 82 | 64 |
| #4 | jonzka | +1.97 | 84 | 46 |
| #5 | jonzka | +0.25 | 72 | 50 |





