








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Wingman | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,208 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 859 | 39% |
| Smokes | 327 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 540 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 482 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $158,336 of utility $44 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aleksiB | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | WE LOVE | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | JeHoo | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | Lassi Kulliman | 51% | 90 |
| #5 | pilatefin | 48% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | WE LOVE | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | JeHoo | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | Lassi Kulliman | 51% | 90 |
| #5 | pilatefin | 48% | 52 |
| #6 | LidlinMyyjä | 18% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lassi Kulliman | 22 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | pilatefin | 14 | 0.0157 |
| #3 | WE LOVE | 6 | 0.0230 |
| #4 | JeHoo | 6 | 0.0241 |
| #5 | LidlinMyyjä | 4 | 0.0132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lassi Kulliman | 315 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | pilatefin | 55 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | WE LOVE | 52 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | aleksiB | 31 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | JeHoo | 30 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JeHoo | +2.66 | 47 | 46 |
| #2 | WE LOVE | +2.04 | 53 | 56 |
| #3 | Lassi Kulliman | +2.04 | 61 | 50 |
| #4 | pilatefin | +0.43 | 69 | 35 |
| #5 | uus vikkex | -0.21 | 33 | 21 |





