








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




98 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5146 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,827 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2993 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2589 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2131 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2114 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,050,237 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | balls | 69% | 45 |
| #2 | Bober | 66% | 50 |
| #3 | My Nuts Stink | 62% | 42 |
| #4 | Ethlam Abdulmanut | 61% | 98 |
| #5 | cняᴉs ☢ | 57% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ethlam Abdulmanut | 61% | 98 |
| #5 | cняᴉs ☢ | 57% | 128 |
| #6 | Anderdingus | 52% | 62 |
| #7 | meta moon | 50% | 30 |
| #8 | Jahsexual | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cняᴉs ☢ | 48 | 0.0198 |
| #2 | Anderdingus | 21 | 0.0172 |
| #3 | Ethlam Abdulmanut | 19 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | Bober | 13 | 0.0132 |
| #5 | meta moon | 10 | 0.0190 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bober | 296 | 0.30 | 7 min |
| #2 | Anderdingus | 210 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ethlam Abdulmanut | 203 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | cняᴉs ☢ | 186 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | My Nuts Stink | 86 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bober | +8.53 | 83 | 66 |
| #2 | asdf 李 | +2.73 | 88 | 47 |
| #3 | balls | +2.59 | 48 | 51 |
| #4 | My Nuts Stink | +2.39 | 45 | 52 |
| #5 | Ethlam Abdulmanut | +1.38 | 66 | 56 |





