








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 779 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




148 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7855 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,274 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6205 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5795 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6407 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5867 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,870,468 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1708 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | cняᴉs ☢ | 54% | 171 |
| #7 | Anderdingus | 53% | 170 |
| #8 | Jahsexual | 52% | 216 |
| #9 | Freaky Mc SquirtBob | 48% | 65 |
| #10 | Delete | 36% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bober | 104 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | My Nuts Stink | 63 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | cняᴉs ☢ | 48 | 0.0149 |
| #4 | Jahsexual | 42 | 0.0099 |
| #5 | asdf 李 | 33 | 0.0166 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bober | 2780 | 0.32 | 64 min |
| #2 | Jahsexual | 700 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #3 | My Nuts Stink | 501 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | Anderdingus | 487 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #5 | cняᴉs ☢ | 298 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bober | +6.15 | 84 | 60 |
| #2 | My Nuts Stink | +1.55 | 46 | 55 |
| #3 | asdf 李 | +0.97 | 86 | 46 |
| #4 | balls | +0.66 | 45 | 50 |
| #5 | Ethlam Abdulmanut | +0.55 | 66 | 56 |





