








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 323 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1237 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,707 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 555 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1642 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 706 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 804 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,267,731 of utility $300 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carl Gustaf Emil Mannerheim | 55% | 78 |
| #2 | huNter | 54% | 41 |
| #3 | aarnenragedepo | 52% | 83 |
| #4 | Mika Häkkinen | 51% | 72 |
| #5 | RASE | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | aarnenragedepo | 52% | 83 |
| #4 | Mika Häkkinen | 51% | 72 |
| #5 | RASE | 47% | 17 |
| #6 | Bobby Fischer | 43% | 21 |
| #7 | Ilmu🦧 | 43% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mika Häkkinen | 13 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Ilmu🦧 | 8 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Carl Gustaf Emil Mannerheim | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | aarnenragedepo | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Bobby Fischer | 2 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ilmu🦧 | 170 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Carl Gustaf Emil Mannerheim | 124 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | aarnenragedepo | 81 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mika Häkkinen | 76 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | huNter | 53 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mika Häkkinen | +4.47 | 60 | 48 |
| #2 | Carl Gustaf Emil Mannerheim | +1.51 | 57 | 55 |
| #3 | huNter | +1.41 | 54 | 54 |
| #4 | aarnenragedepo | +1.07 | 56 | 36 |
| #5 | Ilmu🦧 | -0.19 | 61 | 37 |





