








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
144 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 182 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 33 | 18% |
| Smokes | 43 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 43 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 63 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $70,956 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RASE | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | Dyndrome Sown | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | Ilmu🦧 | 44% | 25 |
| #4 | tunnettubludi | 43% | 21 |
| #5 | Carl Gustaf Emil Mannerheim | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tunnettubludi | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Mika Häkkinen | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ilmu🦧 | 36 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | Carl Gustaf Emil Mannerheim | 22 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | tunnettubludi | 14 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | huNter | 10 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Mika Häkkinen | 10 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mika Häkkinen | +2.47 | 70 | 26 |
| #2 | Carl Gustaf Emil Mannerheim | +1.31 | 48 | 57 |
| #3 | huNter | +0.92 | 59 | 32 |
| #4 | Dyndrome Sown | +0.41 | 18 | 31 |
| #5 | Ilmu🦧 | +0.16 | 59 | 28 |





