








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 722 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 126 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1578 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,119 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 910 | 29% |
| Smokes | 953 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 861 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 395 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $423,079 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 508 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dyndrome Sown | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | aarnenragedepo | 55% | 66 |
| #3 | huNter | 51% | 55 |
| #4 | Carl Gustaf Emil Mannerheim | 47% | 89 |
| #5 | Bobby Fischer | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mika Häkkinen | 13 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Carl Gustaf Emil Mannerheim | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | tunnettubludi | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | aarnenragedepo | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Bobby Fischer | 3 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carl Gustaf Emil Mannerheim | 120 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #2 | huNter | 90 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Mika Häkkinen | 78 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | tunnettubludi | 51 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | aarnenragedepo | 51 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mika Häkkinen | +2.37 | 68 | 52 |
| #2 | huNter | +1.24 | 55 | 57 |
| #3 | Carl Gustaf Emil Mannerheim | +0.71 | 50 | 54 |
| #4 | Dyndrome Sown | +0.70 | 28 | 45 |
| #5 | Ilmu🦧 | -0.99 | 60 | 38 |





