








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4624 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,335 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9508 | 41% |
| Smokes | 3827 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 5770 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4230 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $151,747 of utility $17 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 615 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guido2 | 66% | 29 |
| #2 | 𝕋𝕦𝕜𝕤𝕦b | 63% | 73 |
| #3 | Hasu | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | 165cm boy | 59% | 132 |
| #5 | guido | 57% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 165cm boy | 59% | 132 |
| #5 | guido | 57% | 42 |
| #6 | Testopete | 54% | 70 |
| #7 | KromoSonni | 54% | 93 |
| #8 | PaMpPuMiEsS | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 165cm boy | 26 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | 𝕋𝕦𝕜𝕤𝕦b | 21 | 0.0151 |
| #3 | Testopete | 14 | 0.0104 |
| #4 | KromoSonni | 11 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Hasu | 11 | 0.0255 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 165cm boy | 403 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | 𝕋𝕦𝕜𝕤𝕦b | 365 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #3 | guido | 222 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #4 | Testopete | 201 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | PaMpPuMiEsS | 144 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Millert | +3.67 | 85 | 64 |
| #2 | guido2 | +3.22 | 66 | 74 |
| #3 | PaMpPuMiEsS | +0.46 | 67 | 56 |
| #4 | KromoSonni | +0.11 | 52 | 46 |
| #5 | guido | -0.16 | 53 | 68 |





