








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




77 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4945 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,928 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2390 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1733 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2519 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2286 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,908,166 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 217 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Testopete | 52% | 132 |
| #10 | 2fat | 47% | 30 |
| #11 | PepsodentHymy | 46% | 28 |
| #12 | Hampster<33 | 46% | 82 |
| #13 | guido | 45% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Millert | 851 | 0.48 | 15 min |
| #2 | guido2 | 554 | 0.30 | 14 min |
| #3 | Hampster<33 | 512 | 0.33 | 9 min |
| #4 | 165cm boy | 491 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #5 | guido | 477 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Millert | +4.25 | 86 | 58 |
| #2 | guido2 | +3.19 | 65 | 74 |
| #3 | PepsodentHymy | +3.14 | 64 | 64 |
| #4 | 2fat | +3.09 | 58 | 67 |
| #5 | Hasu | +2.87 | 74 | 62 |





