








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1560 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 322 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 135 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




80 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6153 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,935 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12393 | 35% |
| Smokes | 7338 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 9170 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6034 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $884,090 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1087 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dii inferi | 63% | 68 |
| #2 | PepsodentHymy | 63% | 89 |
| #3 | Millert | 57% | 42 |
| #4 | ulosottomies | 56% | 90 |
| #5 | Trukkiz | 51% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ulosottomies | 21 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | kuolit juuri aivovammaiselle | 11 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | Trukkiz | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | KromoSonni | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Dii inferi | 7 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dii inferi | 425 | 0.32 | 11 min |
| #2 | Millert | 418 | 0.49 | 8 min |
| #3 | Trukkiz | 415 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #4 | ulosottomies | 363 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #5 | kuolit juuri aivovammaiselle | 322 | 0.27 | 9 min |





