








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 110 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1206 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,011 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 532 | 26% |
| Smokes | 77 | 4% |
| HE Grenades | 965 | 48% |
| Molotovs | 437 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $212,501 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🎀 𝕴𝖓𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖑 | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | zadron | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | Mischavg | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | DayDay | 50% | 110 |
| #5 | Noahxl2000 | 45% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | zadron | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | Mischavg | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | DayDay | 50% | 110 |
| #5 | Noahxl2000 | 45% | 42 |
| #6 | the meanMachine | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DayDay | 236 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | the meanMachine | 109 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Noahxl2000 | 41 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mischavg | 30 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | 🎀 𝕴𝖓𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖑 | 12 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prince | +1.94 | 92 | 35 |
| #2 | the meanMachine | +0.48 | 82 | 68 |
| #3 | DayDay | +0.23 | 73 | 57 |
| #4 | zadron | -0.34 | 79 | 56 |
| #5 | Mischavg | -1.74 | 55 | 43 |





