








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 231 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1955 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,122 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1353 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1898 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2280 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1591 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $834,156 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DayDay | 48% | 246 |
| #2 | the meanMachine | 47% | 144 |
| #3 | zadron | 47% | 62 |
| #4 | Prince | 45% | 42 |
| #5 | 🎀 𝕴𝖓𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖑 | 40% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | the meanMachine | 47% | 144 |
| #3 | zadron | 47% | 62 |
| #4 | Prince | 45% | 42 |
| #5 | 🎀 𝕴𝖓𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖑 | 40% | 48 |
| #6 | Mischavg | 37% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mischavg | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | DayDay | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #3 | the meanMachine | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | zadron | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DayDay | 494 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #2 | the meanMachine | 430 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | Mischavg | 88 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | 🎀 𝕴𝖓𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖑 | 75 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | zadron | 58 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the meanMachine | +2.36 | 83 | 66 |
| #2 | Prince | +1.89 | 93 | 34 |
| #3 | DayDay | +0.89 | 75 | 55 |
| #4 | zadron | +0.77 | 75 | 60 |
| #5 | 🎀 𝕴𝖓𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖑 | -1.01 | 75 | 57 |





