








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 108 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 351 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4456 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,883 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3401 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3491 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3356 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3635 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,351,839 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyle Rittenhouse | 76% | 25 |
| #2 | ✪ BRÜTΔL | 65% | 26 |
| #3 | steefNEEF | 53% | 76 |
| #4 | RG | 51% | 79 |
| #5 | Dutch Boy | 50% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RG | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | zadron | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | ✪ BRÜTΔL | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | steefNEEF | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Dutch Boy | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DayDay | 450 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | RG | 298 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | steefNEEF | 242 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Noahxl2000 | 234 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | 🎀 𝕴𝖓𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖑 | 159 | 0.08 | 3 min |





