








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 436 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4153 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,440 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3295 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5210 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4257 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3678 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,112,434 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zadron | 58% | 99 |
| #2 | Prince | 50% | 110 |
| #3 | Noahxl2000 | 48% | 246 |
| #4 | Mischavg | 43% | 63 |
| #5 | the meanMachine | 43% | 231 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Prince | 50% | 110 |
| #3 | Noahxl2000 | 48% | 246 |
| #4 | Mischavg | 43% | 63 |
| #5 | the meanMachine | 43% | 231 |
| #6 | 🎀 𝕴𝖓𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖑 | 41% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mischavg | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | the meanMachine | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the meanMachine | 657 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #2 | Noahxl2000 | 369 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | Mischavg | 105 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Prince | 94 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | zadron | 79 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prince | +1.98 | 93 | 35 |
| #2 | the meanMachine | +1.30 | 81 | 66 |
| #3 | DayDay | +0.70 | 75 | 54 |
| #4 | zadron | +0.53 | 78 | 62 |
| #5 | Noahxl2000 | -1.71 | 64 | 50 |





