








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
992 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,901 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 775 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1264 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 337 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 525 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $511,328 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -1 sYNDROme | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | Swuunky | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Nana Jr. | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Throat Clogger | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | deadman | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | kingsland15 | 38% | 24 |
| #9 | Maniac.0330 | 37% | 38 |
| #10 | Outlaw | 36% | 11 |
| #11 | 007Aston | 36% | 45 |
| #12 | Samuraifuzz | 34% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NERPZ | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Maniac.0330 | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | 007Aston | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Samuraifuzz | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Throat Clogger | 2 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 007Aston | 183 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | Samuraifuzz | 157 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | Maniac.0330 | 45 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | kingsland15 | 30 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | deadman | 21 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Throat Clogger | +3.61 | 49 | 47 |
| #2 | NERPZ | +3.21 | 44 | 31 |
| #3 | -1 sYNDROme | +1.56 | 70 | 45 |
| #4 | Swuunky | +0.44 | 28 | 48 |
| #5 | Outlaw | -0.32 | 26 | 72 |





