








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 310 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3337 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2542 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1185 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 3282 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1366 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,035,610 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✯WhitePlague✯ | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | NERPZ | 52% | 125 |
| #3 | BradPinch | 51% | 43 |
| #4 | Throat Clogger | 51% | 59 |
| #5 | That1guy | 50% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reeces Pieces | 12 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | NERPZ | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | deadman | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | BradPinch | 6 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | Maniac.0330 | 5 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reeces Pieces | 304 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Maniac.0330 | 184 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | deadman | 169 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | BradPinch | 154 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | 007Aston | 152 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Throat Clogger | +3.92 | 50 | 29 |
| #2 | NERPZ | +3.28 | 42 | 33 |
| #3 | SwagSquatch | +2.72 | 32 | 24 |
| #4 | Swuunky | +0.81 | 45 | 45 |
| #5 | That1guy | +0.73 | 54 | 48 |





