








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
650 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 766 | 34% |
| Smokes | 530 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 549 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 389 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $125,123 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 313 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sef8 | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Autistic Nigga | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | Little TvD | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | lightacouis | 41% | 34 |
| #5 | bienes | 38% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lightacouis | 202 | 0.30 | 5 min |
| #2 | bienes | 146 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Autistic Nigga | 109 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mr. Scooby Jew | 100 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | waoud | 76 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | el doustre | +5.03 | 64 | 77 |
| #2 | lightacouis | +4.26 | 71 | 77 |
| #3 | Autistic Nigga | +2.27 | 66 | 60 |
| #4 | waoud | +1.60 | 74 | 71 |
| #5 | bienes | +1.43 | 64 | 57 |





