








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2470 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,181 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1010 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1161 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 821 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1189 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $945,614 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kvinne Benekter Nr 1 | 66% | 47 |
| #2 | 2bias ツ | 58% | 73 |
| #3 | Negård | 53% | 55 |
| #4 | tisselur #ClashGG | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | Marjus | 48% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | tisselur #ClashGG | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | Marjus | 48% | 109 |
| #6 | 3sepen1 | 47% | 78 |
| #7 | AnitaMaxWynn | 44% | 27 |
| #8 | ✪ mattias | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2bias ツ | 9 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Negård | 9 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | AnitaMaxWynn | 8 | 0.0147 |
| #4 | Marjus | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Kvinne Benekter Nr 1 | 5 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3sepen1 | 228 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | Marjus | 157 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Kvinne Benekter Nr 1 | 112 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | 2bias ツ | 111 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | AnitaMaxWynn | 102 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kvinne Benekter Nr 1 | +4.39 | 60 | 73 |
| #2 | 2bias ツ | +2.42 | 75 | 67 |
| #3 | 3sepen1 | +1.44 | 70 | 64 |
| #4 | tisselur #ClashGG | +1.03 | 52 | 66 |
| #5 | ✪ mattias | +0.58 | 63 | 53 |





