








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 890 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3486 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,981 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1225 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1203 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2787 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2766 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,028,157 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 615 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bordga | 29 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | M7R | 19 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | FunkyMonkey69 | 15 | 0.0183 |
| #4 | Cpt.Price | 5 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | K | 3 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bordga | 423 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | M7R | 400 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | K | 183 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #4 | Cpt.Price | 130 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | peek | 126 | 0.22 | 3 min |





