








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1270 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 870 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 375 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 219 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 174 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 70 matches | ||
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




456 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15981 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 72,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 19917 | 28% |
| Smokes | 16706 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 22469 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 12963 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,223,949 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6695 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M7R | 205 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | El Horno | 97 | 0.0152 |
| #3 | Cpt.Price | 53 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | peek | 29 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | kcrystal | 29 | 0.0058 |





