








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,822 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 592 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2239 | 46% |
| HE Grenades | 733 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1258 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $90,091 of utility $14 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | skmpx | 56% | 316 |
| #5 | Pattyxq | 54% | 114 |
| #6 | Dephaze | 53% | 126 |
| #7 | tadashi | 52% | 25 |
| #8 | ✈✈ ∏ ∏ | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skmpx | 471 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | Pattyxq | 341 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | tadashi | 126 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | Prázdné ruce plný nos | 83 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✈✈ ∏ ∏ | 73 | 0.19 | 1 min |





